Sunday 18 March 2007

So yeah My first post.

So I wasn't really sure of what to write in a blog, but as its just supposed to be from the heart I guess Ill just go for it. I'm Wendy, Im 18. I live In Fife, pretty ok I guess, I like it here Im used to it and all. I don't like chavs/neds, so If you are one just dont speak to me as I have no respect for you, Ive been through enough shit because of people like you and I can't be assed putting up with any more...thank you, end of. Also if you self harm, don't come to me with your problems can't really deal with that now. So life is going well right now I guess, I just got an Unconditional offer to Study at St Andrews University (best uni in scotland), Im passing college with merits (yah what a swot). So I should be really happy , and I guess I am kinda, but somethings in my life Im just not happy with I guess. theres a lot I wish I could change about my life, and a lot about my past, but you can't so I just live my life, try to make it better, ya know?

Lifes pretty scary isn't it? Like when you reach that age where you actually start being really aware of what goes on around you, and the reality of what the world can really be like kind of hits you way too soon. Like the age when you first learn that "adults"ae not the perfect "faultless" role models you once thought, and that they too make mistakes. In a way kinda makes you feel better. But It takes away from your perfect little structured world where everything was once perfect, and you have to start doing stuff for yourself.

Its amazing at 13 you think you know it all, and now Im 18 I look back and cringe at how pathetic I was to even think I knew a grain of anything about the world, saying this mind you Ill probably look back when Im 25 or something and think that about now, but it is amazing how much you mature over 5 years without really realising it.

First relationships too, you learn a damn lot from these, even if the relationship turns out to be bad, in fact bad first relationships teach you a lot more, you learn caution, as in next time you go for someone be aware of the fact that loving someone is like giving them the chance to completely destroy you, but then trusting them not to, don't trust people to easy, a lot of people arent worthy of your trust. You also learn that promises mean nothing!!, nothing at all, a promise isn't necessarily always kept. Guys are a really hard thing to talk about arent they?, theres good ones and theres bad ones, too many bad ones. Wouldn't it be good if you could know right away who the good and bad ones were?..Mind you if it were that easy it would make life less interesting wouldn't it. And we HAVE to have out hearts broken, true we would be happy if we didn't, but otherwise we learn nothing and remain naive and over trusting for the rest of our lives, which to be honest is pretty shit. Heartbreak hurts...a lot, but hey if other people can get over so can everyone else:). Have faith.

Next topic...yeah neds. their music doesn't bother me (despite its clearly talentless monotony), their clothing choices dont bother me much either (despite their grungy look, and for the girls, very slutty attire), Its the general attitude of these "people" shall we call them?, who feel the need to stand around the streets at night, drinking the cheapest alcohol possible, smoking fags/joints whatever it is they take, and then clearly being unable to handle this alcohol and feeling the need to start fights, not one on one...NO.. about 10 of them against 1 person, apparently this is their interpretation of a fair fight and makes them feel "well hard man" like yeah whatever. A lot of the guys walk down the street with the most horrible swaggers imaginable, spitting along the street drinking bucky, smoking and insulting everyone who walks past....acting like a prat towards their sluts ("girlfriends"), and then have the cheek to think Im jealous...yes clearly...LOL. Also kinda gets to me that most of the people who are hurt by these groups of neds seem to be my friends.....pretty decent people who mostly do nothing except dare to look in the wrong direction ...yeah so to all neds ...FUCK OFF, YOUR FUCKING WORTHLESS SCUM, GO GET A FUCKING JOB IN McDONALDS....Thank you.

Emos: Um well emos arent as bad as neds I guess, they dont go out of their way to insult or hurt anyone, apart from theirselves, Only thing that bugs me about these people is their bleak depressing fucking attitude on life, and their MSN personal messages stating they wanna die and that theyr gonna kill themselves soon..yeah right...you wouldnt be telling everyone if you were going to kill yourself you attention seeking gits, and as for "failed suicide attempts", clearly you dont "really" want to die because trust me if you wanted to be dead...you would be.

"Junkies"= dont get me started..there isn't much to say about someone who feels the need to put crap into their body just to be able to cope with life is there?

to be honest theres nothing else I can really think of to have a rant about right now...well there is (religion, politics etc..) I have very strong (and probably very annoying to highly religious people and politicians) views on these subjects, but hey we'll save these for another time shall we? because to be honest Im sleepy and I guess stuart has to read this before morning lol.:P, so yeah to finidh of....I HATE CHAVS, I DISLIKE EMOS, I WANT JUNKIES TO DIE, and I lead one hell of a fucked up psychotic life...I like to climb castle ruin walls...its great fun...I like bananas....that is all<< see Im normal:) mwahxxxx